I wonder whether you can relate to this – you want to take action, you’re ready to take action, but you maybe lack that confidence in your own ability to make decisions. Just before you’re about to take action, maybe you’re stopped in your tracks, and in some ways you feel paralyzed and overwhelmed by thoughts of doubt and a lack of self belief in your decisions.
Watch the video below:
This applies in your professional life and your personal life. If you think of certain situations in your personal life – maybe you want to approach someone you’re interested in, but something in you stops you taking action because your mind runs away with itself. Maybe you want to start a new business but you’re not sure if you can afford to take the risk.
I wanted to talk about this, and it’s something I’ve never covered before. I can only speak from my own personal experiences when I’ve experienced self doubt when it comes to taking action. Hopefully, me sharing how I overcame these situations, it could maybe help you!
It’s a big part of being human. When you are challenged or out of your comfort zone, the natural reaction is to question all the things that could potentially go wrong, because that’s ultimately how we survive. Your brain’s trying to keep you safe by telling you what could potentially go wrong to prevent you from hurting yourself physically, emotionally and financially.
In this video, I wanted to share some practical ideas that I have – something that I do on a regular basis that really allows me to step back in a situation, look at the whole story and then, if I decide it is a risk, I can decide not to take that action. But if I go through this process and it turns out that I’ve been playing a bad story in my mind, then I will take action!
One of the greatest things that I learned very early on is that there is no losing. You either win or you learn. The only way you will ever lose is if you don’t learn from your mistakes. But you’ve got to be able to take that first step before you learn something.
Let’s say in your personal life you want to reach out to somebody for the first time and it’s out of your comfort zone, all of a sudden, your brain starts filling your consciousness with worries of being rejected, called ugly – these are the things that naturally occur to us all and prevent us from taking action.
This is something I do personally when I face difficult decisions. Whenever I think about a lack of confidence in my own decision making, I always stand by the notion that I’m either going to win or I’m going to learn something. That’s first and foremost.
Secondly, I always write down what is actually playing up in my mind. A real life example of this is that last year I wanted to go to the Millionaire Mind Intensive in London, and unfortunately my friends couldn’t make it; they let me down. Then all of a sudden I started thinking, “I can’t go there by myself. I can’t get to London by myself, what if I get lost?” And all sorts of other negative thoughts.
I actually went through this process where I thought of the story I was telling myself as a table. You’ve got these legs to this table: the thought of getting lost, not knowing where to be and go – I started writing all of this down with potential problems representing a table’s legs. It got me thinking about times I’ve taken trains in other cities before and navigate my way around new places – and I thought to myself, “I can read a map, I’ve got a phone...” So that story just doesn’t hold up. Most of my doubts revolved around finding my way around, but I have the confidence to ask for directions.
The more I thought about my negative vision for how it would turn out, it didn’t sound believable. My negative story didn’t hold up, so I made the decision that I was going to go, with confidence. I had a fantastic time, I met incredible people. But some people would have stopped taking action.
Think about in your life, when you want to entertain somebody who comes around to your house for the first time. It could be a date or a mate coming for dinner. When you’re entertaining somebody, you welcome them into your home, get them a drink and get them comfortable; you entertain them. Think about it from a negative point of view. If somebody negative comes to your house, you wouldn’t entertain that person; why would you entertain a negative thought?
You wouldn’t open the door, let them in, offer them a drink. All these things just would not happen. When I get a negative thought, it’s as if it knocks me on the head – but then I think about it and start asking questions. Why would this go wrong? Then, instead of entertaining it and playing it in my mind, thinking negatively, I just don’t let that thought fester, because I try to be logical and apply common sense to what I’m doing.
Say I want to invest in something, but I have doubts. I write down all my doubts and then I question every single one. Then, because it’s right there on a piece of paper, somehow it doesn’t feel that bad. That is why I’ll always communicate with the people around me, ask my mastermind group, Kylie or the guys in the warehouse, so I’m not making this decision on my own. That can give you confidence in what other people’s feedback is.
Those are the two ways that I try to do. Don’t entertain negativity. It’s easier to think about negative thoughts as a physical manifestation because it helps me relate to it a little bit more.
Writing down my problems in the shape of a table, the legs being my concerns, then applying pressure to see how well your story (table) holds up under logical scrutiny. It’s easy to be irrational when you’re worried.
As I said, I’m no psychologist, these are just my personal experiences, but when I quit my job to start my businesses, when I first put money into the business, I barely had any money, so it was really tough to think about money as something I could lose. But when I started to think that I’ll either win or I’ll learn, it opened the door to taking massive action!
I hope this helps you with your self confidence. Let me know in the comments and keep taking massive action! 🙂
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